Day 27: Dopey (Thursday 24 November)

Apparently it’s Thursday, and has been all day. That’s news to me.

Last night was a nightmare. I had drugs around 10pm before I went to bed to try and relieve my back pain. That seemed to work but then it started up again and woke me at 3am. Then 5am. Then 7am and finally 8am. I took either Oxycodone or Oxycontin on each of these occasions because I was so desperate for the pain to go away. The trouble was that I took the lower dose drugs first, then ended up taking the higher concentration ones at seven and eight in the morning. Dumb.

By the time breakfast rolled around at 9am I was like the living dead. Brad said that sitting across the table from me at breakfast this morning was one of the worst things he’s ever done. He said my eyes were rolling back in my head, I was scratching all over and my arms were behaving as though they were disconnected from the rest of my body. I don’t know how anyone can take these sort of drugs for fun. It was awful.

I hadn’t actually overdosed on the painkillers but I had certainly taken too much. I didn’t sober up until yesterday evening and spent the whole day just fading in and out of consciousness. Most of the day is a blur to me and Brad has had to help me piece the order of events together.

I had my infusions in the morning including a new infusion to help calm my gallbladder. Then I went to SPDT but wasn’t sure if I would make it through. I puked after the PDT and was thinking about having some morphine before going in to the SDT bath. Ultimately I was lucid enough to decide that I didn’t want to be even more out of it in the bath just in case something happened. I figure that being drugged in an SDT bath in China was neither a salubrious method nor location in which to drown. It was a good decision to refuse the morphine because I managed to cope with the low level pain for the rest of the day and night without the aid of any painkillers.

In the afternoon we got word that a man with an esky was due to arrive on a plane from Beijing with my Dendritic Cell Therapy so we would get started straight away. Naturally, I got a fever just as I was about to start DCT but that didn’t delay things. I was given the dexamethasone combo to calm the fever and DCT was carried out for the first time, without any immediately obvious effects.

Mum, Glenn and Linda were having dinner with Nanna tonight in advance of her birthday tomorrow and called me to check in. Partially because I was out of it on drugs, and partially because I was so sad that I wasn’t there with them, I cried through most of the call. Of course, that then made them cry. Sorry, I didn’t mean for that to happen. Nanna tried to cheer me up by telling me stories of people at her nursing home who’d had all manner of illnesses over the years and who are still going strong today at over ninety years old. Even Nan has had breast cancer, a heart attack, a bunch of strokes and two hip replacements and is still kicking. As they say, there’s always hope.

New artwork for my hospital room by Fletcher and Sean Flynn

New artwork for my hospital room by Fletcher and Sean Flynn


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