Day 35: Exhausted (Friday 2 December)

After SPDT this morning I was completely spent, and I mean, completely. I was supposed to go straight from SPDT to HiFU but I couldn’t manage it. I went back to my room, got hooked up to my infusions and slept. And slept, and slept. I can’t believe how completely exhausted I was even though I slept through last night (though I did sweat through my nightclothes again).

During the afternoon they tried to coax me to go to HiFU a couple of times but I could not muster the energy to open my eyes let alone be pelted and drained by the HiFU machine. I just couldn’t do it. So, sometime close to 5pm I exited stage left and went back to the hotel and retreated to the couch.

We went out for dinner and tried our luck at a place we hadn’t been to before, in a street we hadn’t eaten in before. Risky business! We have developed our own system of naming the streets in the local area and tonight we went to ‘restaurant’ street. Other monikers we’ve allocated to local streets include Coca-Cola street, dry-cleaning street and school street – all for reasons which are self-evident.

Our foray into restaurant street was very productive. We (I) over-ordered but in my defence I was ordering for three instead of two. We got an ample selection of veges and rice as well as some duck and spicy chicken. Nom nom nom. The leftovers were enough to feed another two or three people but we decided against asking for a doggy bag 🙂 The total damage was AUD$20 so no complaints with the price tag either.

I just can’t believe how tired I am and how my energy levels are not bouncing back after each day of treatment. SPDT didn’t seem to take it out of me in the beginning like it does now – I don’t know what that’s about. I feel like I am on a sort of treatment overload and really need a break. If there’s a bunch of dead tumours inside me then my body will need to absorb and or expel the dead tissue and presumably that requires energy. I feel like I need ‘breathing space’ from treatment to do that. On the other hand, if this is my one shot in the locker then maybe I should just be ploughing ahead no matter what. No one seems to be able to tell me what the impact of having a break from treatment might be, whether for a week off or a month. I just hope that I get some clarity next week after I have my first set of progress scans.

Danielle sent me a link that gave me a good laugh today – I definitely think there’s something in this research! You be the judge: “Limited swearing helps pain relief.”


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